That person thinks in a certain way about me, is that really it? He said that about me, he must be right about it. I do not deserve this, but she said that I do then it must be so.
Isn’t this how we have started thinking about ourselves? We always see ourselves better or worse through other people’s eyes and opinions. Why is that? Don’t we consider our own opinions about ourselves important enough to consider that we need validation from someone else? Or are we so low on self-esteem that we need that confidence booster from other people?
If the answer to these questions is NO then why do we always think what everyone around us is thinking about us? Why do we need to put one more thing on our mind about life as if it wasn’t enough already in itself?
What someone thinks about us or how they form perceptions towards us is in our hands. If we are not confident about ourselves then how can we even expect that someone who is on the receiving end of our behavior would form that perception? And it is not even about perceptions or what people think about us, it is about how we see ourselves, how we give respect to our own mind and soul. If we would keep looking for that acceptance and validation from someone other than our own self then we would slowly crumble away our ability to think.
God made us with a mind and an ability to think, if we are unable to think and react for our own self then what is the use of it. I understand that it is important in certain situations to seek guidance and advice from someone who might be more experienced in that thing or sometimes to just share what we think but it should never become a habit. We should always be in a state of mind to validate our thoughts without taking a second opinion. It not only boosts that self-esteem but also helps to broaden our thinking spectrum. We would make mistakes in making certain decisions and by taking certain steps but that would only give us that required experience. We would become wiser and maybe in future we would be able to help someone with this gained wisdom.
This would only happen only if we start giving importance to our thinking process and start validating things for ourselves on our own. Never look for that acceptance from anywhere else except your own soul; feel the things, perceive the circumstances and then decide. No matter how hard it might seem in the start just keep doing this, just keep giving ideas to the mind, otherwise we would become so dependent on others that we won’t be able to rely on our minds even a bit.
“When an idea exclusively occupies the mind, it is transformed into an actual physical or mental state.”
– Swami Vivekananda.
Just pay heed to these golden words because whatever we think we become, so just use this ability to its best.